ADHD is so much more than being distracted by squirrels…although that struggle is REAL! In women, you might be surprised to learn that ADHD presents completely differently than it does in men. This is a pretty generalised statement, I know, but when you speak to enough women who have ADHD and you have a kid with ADHD, you pick up the similarities and differnces pretty quickly.

I digress. So, here’s why ADHD in women tends to fly under the radar and how it can look wildly different from what most people expect.

 

The Hyperactivity That Isn’t “Hyper”

Men: Picture the stereotypical “hyperactive” behaviour—fidgeting, blurting out answers, interrupting conversations, or, let’s be honest, climbing things they shouldn’t. Hyperactivity in men is loud and hard to miss.

Women: Hyperactivity in women often takes a subtler form. Instead of climbing trees, it looks like restless energy, excessive talking (hello, verbal hyperactivity!), or the feeling of needing to keep busy 24/7. Women with ADHD might be the ones baking biscuits at 2 a.m. or reorganising their wardrobes instead of resting. Productive? Sure. Exhausting? You bet.

 

Daydreamer Extraordinaire

Men: ADHD in boys often comes with visible distractions—they might doodle during class, zone out mid-conversation, or get caught staring at a squirrel.

Women: For women, inattentiveness often means being labelled as “spacey” or “in your own world.” It’s not just losing your keys—it’s losing them while simultaneously forgetting where you parked the car and that you even own a car. Teachers might say, “She’s so bright, but she just needs to focus,” not realising that ADHD is at play.

 

The Emotional Rollercoaster

Men: Men with ADHD might seem impulsive, like buying a skateboard at 40 or starting a new business after one TikTok tutorial.

Women: Women with ADHD often experience intense emotions that shift rapidly—one moment, you’re laughing at a cat video, and the next, you’re crying because someone didn’t text you back. This emotional dysregulation is often mistaken for being “too sensitive” or “dramatic.”

 

The Overachiever Mask

Men: When ADHD makes it hard for men to stay organised, they might openly struggle or underperform.

Women: Women, on the other hand, often become masters of disguise. They compensate by becoming hyper-organised or perfectionists, desperately trying to “keep it together.” The result? Burnout, exhaustion, and a constant feeling of “Why can’t I just handle this like everyone else?”

 

Social Chameleon Mode

Men: Boys with ADHD may be the class clown or the kid who can’t stop talking about dinosaurs. Their social quirks are often obvious.

Women: Women with ADHD often become social chameleons, masking their symptoms by mimicking others’ behaviours. You might appear outgoing and bubbly in public but feel totally drained and frazzled when you’re alone. It’s exhausting, but you’ve been doing it so long, you might not even realise it’s happening.

 

You’re probably wondering why this matters, right? Because these differences mean that ADHD in women is often overlooked or misdiagnosed. Instead of being identified as ADHD, women are told they’re anxious, depressed, or simply “not trying hard enough.” (Cue collective eye roll.) If you see yourself in these examples, know you’re not alone—and no, you’re not “just bad at adulting.” Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to reorganise my fridge at 1 a.m. because ADHD is nothing if not predictably unpredictable.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *